


promise you'll remember that you're mine

by sirensongs (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 17:30:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sirensongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's mysterious and he walks in, blue jeans, white shirt, and he makes Louis' eyes burn. </p><p>Or an indulgent fic inspired by Lana Del Rey's Blue Jeans featuring coffee shop Louis falling for Harry Styles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	promise you'll remember that you're mine

**Author's Note:**

> so this just sort of happened as i listened to blue jeans and it became something and i hope you like it  
> and you can check me out on tumblr at http://sugarandstyles.tumblr.com ♡

Louis wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with this. Here he was, a fish out of water in the busy streets of London. He landed a job at Starbucks, which was apparently quite a feat, and his best friend Niall was still at the flat next door ‘looking for something so they could get a flat together’ which translated to unemployed, living off his parents, and staying that way.

  
The inside of the Starbucks was toasty, the warm browns and the creamy yellows created an atmosphere that Louis quite enjoyed. He liked the coziness and the lovely scents: cinnamon, chocolate, coffee... Of course, coffee. He was only beginning training and he figured his boss must’ve already hated him because he’d had quite a lot of trouble with getting the whipped cream to be perfectly proportioned beneath the dome-like lid. And then the drizzling of the syrup in a finite and routine fashion was less than satisfactory. Also the creamy frappucinos didn’t seem to mix well with the ice. Of course they did for everyone else but for Louis it was a chore. And Louis was willing to work as hard as he had to because he _had_ to keep that job.

  
“You’ll get the hang of it,” a blonde girl said. She was one of those girls who you’d think was way too pretty to be nice but she happened to be really genuine and so Louis was okay with her. Her name was Liz and she was absolutely stunning.

  
“I don’t know,” Louis sighed. “I hope so. I’m gonna try my best for sure.”

  
Liz nodded, taking out a few containers from beneath the counter. “Basic syrups have to be refilled throughout the day, depending on the business. If it’s slow we might not have to but on a busy day we’ll need to refill them anywhere from three to four times.”

  
“Starbucks is always busy,” Louis noted, taking one of the syrup containers out of the box and watching Liz.

  
“Exactly,” Liz nodded, winking as she replaced the syrup. “So do you miss Florida?”

  
Louis’ whole body shook as he laughed, handing her the caramel. “Do I _miss_ Florida? Hardly. I’ve wanted to move to London for as long as I can remember, really.”

  
Louis kneeled down to grab some of the chocolate syrup, not wanting to seem like he was only standing around and chatting. For the first time that morning there were only two people in the shop and they were sitting, already sipping their coffees. 

  
“On a visa?”

  
“Worker’s,” Louis replied. “It’s so hard to get... I tried for student but I’m not doing the whole university thing right now so that didn’t work.” He picked up the lid from the near empty container before replacing it. “Then tried for a worker’s,” Louis huffed, taking a heavy piece of metal and putting it back over the syrups. “They said I needed to already have a job in place.” He sighed. “So I just ended up going with a traveler’s and then working it out with an agent.”

  
Liz laughed, “Wow, thankfully you did! I’m glad to have met you, you’re hilarious.”

  
Louis nodded, his face a true plum color. “Thanks, glad to have met you too!” They reveled in the quick and sappy moment. They’d only worked two shifts together but they got on really well.

  
Then the chiming of the door was ringing through Louis’ ears and he saw the look on Liz’s face as they both mumbled a quiet and familiar curse under their breath. As Louis turned to see the customer, however, he felt his breathing hitch. Liz must’ve noticed because she simply chuckled a bit before patting Louis’ arm and saying “that’s all you, mate” before muttering something about a coffee black and grabbing a few things to make a drink.

  
The tall, stringy curly haired boy was wearing a simple white t-shirt under a leather jacket and had on slender blue jeans. His eyes were fixed on the menu over Louis’ head behind the counter and as Louis began to examine the boy, his strong looking arms and his multitude of bracelets, he noticed that he was holding his hand out with his credit card between two fingers, as if he were offering it to Louis.

  
“Need any help?” Louis began, unsure of what exactly what he was supposed to do.

  
Curly’s hand jerked forward and his eyes caught Louis. Louis was simply staring down at the card, hesitantly about to reach for it, and then the boy chuckled very softly to himself. “Oh, sorry, you’re new aren’t you?”

  
Louis nodded, “Yeah, second day... It’s that obvious?”  
  
“No,” the boy said. “It’s just I usually don’t order. I just pay.”

  
When he says it Louis isn’t sure if this is some cocky, pampered brat or if he’s just so much of a regular that he was just that well-known. Then Louis remembered how Liz said something about a grande coffee no cream... “Grande coffee no cream?” Louis asked, his eyebrows raising.

  
“Oh, yeah, how’d you know?” The boy’s lips curled into a debonair smile.

  
“Liz mentioned that drink before I came up to the register, I guess I just didn’t realize she meant for you, or I just, I don’t know, I—”

  
“S’alright,” The boy said, handing Louis the card. Louis took it, rubbing at his forehead once he’d swiped it and handed it back to tall dark and handsome.

  
Louis looked into the shifty green eyes before him, “Name for the drink?” And he knew that Liz would already know, and he knew that the boy wouldn’t expect to be asked, but Louis just wanted to know. And the way the boy responded so quickly and with such a smile was more of an introduction than just telling him a name for an order.

  
“Harry,” he smirked. “And you’re Louis.”

  
Louis looked down to his nametag as Harry pointed to it, “That I am. Nice to meet you, Harry.” Louis didn’t know why he’d said that. To a customer. Well if he was a regular there was nothing wrong with that, right? It was fine because usually regulars sort of became friendly with the employees at places like this, right? He really wanted to become friendly with Harry so he hoped that was the case.

  
When Harry got his drink and he left, Louis wondered how soon he’d be back and hoped that it would be while he was working.

 

♡

 

  
“You’re into Harry aren’t you?” Liz asked Louis a few days later. Harry had been in just around every day and he’d come in at exactly nine in the morning, which Louis found to be odd. Why was such a young guy up every single morning at nine? Sure, some people were early risers, but a guy like him? Tall and tan and cool? He’d surely be out partying some nights and want to sleep in. Or he’d have a university class late at night and want to sleep in. Or he’d just plain want to sleep in. But nope, every day at nine o’clock. Louis realized that was why he’d only met him on his second day. His first day was a night shift, since that was the time they were the least busy and the best chance for him to actually learn some stuff.

  
“You’re insane,” Louis laughed, wiping off the counter after he’d splashed a little condensed milk onto it.

  
Liz shrugged, rolling her eyes. “I can see the way you guys just look at each other.”

  
Louis perked up a little, “Really?”

  
“Yes, really. You idiot!” Louis rat-tailed him with her hand towel.

  
They didn’t speak on it anymore for a good twenty minutes before Louis raised his eyebrow. “Is Harry our age?” He didn’t even know why he’d brought him up but Liz claimed that Harry looked at him in some certain way so, sure, he was curious.

  
“I think he’s round eighteen, think he’s like two years younger.” Liz laughed. “We’ve had a few chats. He’s a pretty nice guy...”

  
“Oh, right, yeah,” Louis was sweeping the floor. “It’s not a big deal or anything I was just curious.”

 

♡

 

  
“Where are you from, anyway?” Harry had asked one morning when there weren’t too many people. Louis didn’t think he and Harry would ever get into anything other than the weather so he might’ve answered too quickly, but he didn’t care.

  
“Florida,” Louis said. “Lived there all my life but I’ve always wanted to come to London and...” He trailed off. He didn’t want to say that he’d moved to London to write. How cliche and daring of him. How _stupid_ of him, really. Nonetheless he’d done it and he hadn’t found success in the two weeks he’d been there. Not that he expected to, it just seemed like a sort of stupid thing to do. Move to a new country when you’re not exactly financially stable and all.

  
Harry chuckled, “Florida seems nice. I’ve always wanted to go.” There was something about the way Harry’s deep, raspy voice seemed to climb around his throat and ease out between his lips. Drove Louis crazy, he just _liked_ it. “You wanted to come to London and what?” He pressed.

  
“Write,” Louis said. “I know, it’s stupid—”

  
“Nah, it’s not stupid,” Harry said, chewing on his toothpick. “Not stupid at all.”

  
That was the last of that, because Liz was calling Harry’s name with the drink before they could further the conversation. So Louis nodded and smiled to Harry as the boy left the shop causing the little dinging of the bell.

  
“He’s so into you,” Liz said, smacking at Louis’ butt.

  
Louis shrugged, maybe he sort of was? “How do I find out for sure?” He paused. “It’s not very proper to ask him while I’m working, is it?”

  
Liz didn’t really know what to say and Louis could tell because it was scribbled all over her face. Louis didn’t really have any idea of how to do it, how to ask Harry to lunch or something one day, but luckily Harry came in the next day and seemed to be on some sort of a mission. He paid for his drink and then quickly began chatting with Louis.

  
“Well there’s this party tonight,” he said. And Louis’ heart almost fell out of his chest. “Would you maybe want to come with me? It’s sort of crazy stuff but I don’t know, you seem cool.”

  
Louis nodded, his eyes probably beaming an embarrassing amount. “Sure, that sounds like fun.” And so he gave Harry his number and watched as his long fingers tapped across his iPhone. He was some hybrid of man and perfection.

  
“I can’t wait,” Harry said with a cheeky grin as he left the shop, drink in hand.

  
That day Liz wasn’t working, and Louis didn’t really feel like talking about it to the older woman who was working with him so he just kept a stupid, childish grin on his face the entire shift, doing everything with great effort and speed, as if he could speed up the day and end up at the party sometime sooner or something.

 

♡

 

  
Harry had asked him to a party! How wicked. That was something British people said, right? Louis didn’t know, and he didn’t care. Well he sort of did, actually. He didn’t know what Harry liked. How was he supposed to act with him? Or with these people they were going to party with? He didn’t know what to expect or what to wear. He settled, quite reluctantly, on an outfit. He had a Budweiser crew cut sweatshirt and black skinny jeans, paired with a pair of low white converse. He looked like some sort of hipster’s dream, which was kind of odd for him because he was usually rather preppy with bright colors and classic ginghams and stripes. Luckily, though, Harry had texted him earlier so he was able to reply and ask what he should wear, to which Harry told him to be comfortable.

  
And Louis imagined that Harry and his friends were the type to sit around drinking cherry schnapps and smoking weed, watching the room fill with smoke. And he didn’t mind that one bit. Harry seemed mysterious, he seemed electric and charming. He had a presence about him, he had a wandering energy. And Louis knew that he shouldn’t get attached. Not ever. But that wouldn’t stop him, he knew that. He knew Harry’s emerald eyes weren’t the kind that stayed in one place for too long. Not the kind to stay focused on one project or effort for too long.

  
When he saw Harry sporting the black leather jacket and white t-shirt look again he felt comfortable. They looked like some sort of Urban Outfitters couple and Louis liked it. Harry and Louis barely knew each other at all, but that was just part of it. Part of Harry. He was a mystery, a puzzle that might never be solved.

  
“So where’s this party?” Louis asked as they made their way down the street. This probably wasn’t even really a good idea. Harry could be dangerous, he could be a fucking serial killer. But Louis didn’t really seem to care, he just felt like the rush was worth it. Like the intriguing green eyes were pulling him in with some invisible rope.

  
Harry turned to Louis as they walked by a bright street light and he just smirked. “At an old run-down warehouse on the river.”

  
Louis half thought he was kidding but he figured that was his first mistake. His second mistake was feeling way too comfortable as Harry slid his arm around Louis’ waist, guiding him down the road. “You look cute,” Harry told Louis, and so Louis just chuckled to himself, laughing at the cement beneath their feet before looking up to Harry.

  
“Thanks, you look great,” Louis pulled at the leather jacket lightly. “Very bad ass, very rock and roll.”

  
Harry’s face pulled into a ridiculously charming grin and his grip tightened a little around Louis. They kept walking for what seemed like an eternity and Louis didn’t quite know what to bring up, but he smelled the smell of familiar spices and they were passing some little coffee shop that was closed and still smelled like work.

  
Harry was a one-of-a-kind gentleman with the power to make Louis’ eyes burn. He was the kind of guy who would push Louis back onto the hood of a ’57 Mustang—Red, of course—and fuck into him until he was mumbling and muttering and seeing stars. He could sit around drinking cheap beer with Harry and dancing while some vinyl played and he’d count the hearts in Harry’s eyes all night and never tire of it.

  
“We’re here,” Harry finally said, guiding Louis up a steppe. “It’s Charlotte’s house but Elizabeth and Joann live with her and Taylor stays here a lot and Mel tends to sleep on the couch if she’s fucked up and Chris and Matt are in and out, really.”

  
Louis nodded like he could remember what he’d just heard but really he didn’t recall a single name or know much of what Harry was saying, he just liked the way he looked so cool and the way his lips were perfectly pink and smooth and they curled delicately with every word.

  
The door flew open and a gaggle of blonde girls with dip-dyed hair were flinging themselves at Harry and, eventually, hugging Louis tight and welcoming him. They all seemed to be wearing some variety of cut-offs and a cropped tee. Louis thought it was trashy and lovable in the way that they were sitting around a lit bowl, passing it about and chatting up random things that didn’t matter.

  
“And you, Louis,” A pale girl, Charlotte, cooed. “You must be Harry’s boyfriend.”

  
“Must be,” Mel giggled into her cup. “We don’t care what you silly boys say. Written all over your faces.”

  
Louis and Harry looked to each other and they just ended up laughing, a roaring laugh that echoed and slithered around and maybe it was how high everyone was but it seemed like the funniest thing any of them had heard in their lives but Louis felt sort of enamored of the fact that Harry only squeezed his hand tighter and gave him a sloppy smile.

  
That moment struck Louis because he was sure he’d never seen someone so beautiful in the flesh and he was definitely falling way too fast for this boy he hardly knew. Harry’s lips seemed to be biting back secrets and fantasies and desires that Louis knew nothing of but he didn’t care all that much.

  
Bitter taste met Louis’ mouth as he drank more and more and before he knew it he and Harry were walking home and Harry didn’t ask and Louis didn’t offer but Harry was sitting on Louis’ bed and, well, they were just talking, rambling, as Louis changed in the bathroom and called out random things to Harry about his bedroom, like to not look in the small turquoise box by his bed and to admire the artwork on the wall because it was terribly expensive but only a convincing fake.

  
Then Louis was hopping onto his bed, drunk as could be, and wearing only a very oversized t-shirt from some seafood shop in Florida and he had on some striped briefs from Abercrombie hugging his thighs too tightly. “What a fun time we had,” Louis gushed.

  
Harry must’ve been feeling sick or something, Louis thought, from the way he was breathing a bit heavy and he seemed to be hot. “Louis...” Harry’s melting voice trailed off and he kept his eyes locked on Louis’ floor, as if he was scared of something.

  
“Oh what is it?” Louis sighed. “Is it a rat? I absolutely _loathe_ them. Won’t you take care of it for me?”

  
“Not a rat,” Harry groaned. “Louis, could I kiss you, maybe?”

  
Louis propped himself up on his elbow and he didn’t even realize how seductively he was laying, bum up and his golden legs tangled along the bed. “I’d love for you to,” he said.

  
So Harry leaned back, slowly positioning himself to lay next to Louis and his large hand was lightly on Louis’ waist, and he was looking into Louis’ eyes very kindly and Louis thought Harry was like falling in love in summer and drinking cherry coke by the pool, which he loved.

  
“Kiss me you fool,” Louis laughed into Harry’s lips as they stalled.

  
Harry gave a slight chuckle before closing the space between him and Louis. Louis _adored_ the taste of Harry! It was magnificent, unique, controlling and releasing. Sparks flew, waterfalls froze, clocks rang and the traffic stopped as their lips melted into each other, easing around the opposing strawberry red love and opening into a passionate draw of tongues. Louis wanted Harry to keep kissing him and so he just moaned ever so slightly into him, licking at his bottom lip a little and surrendering every bit of himself to Harry.

  
A large hand trailed down Louis’ waist and grabbed at his bum, sliding down his smooth thighs and it seemed hungry and determined and loving and just manly and Louis didn’t want him to stop. He swung his bare leg over Harry’s, straddling him and urging into him a little and Louis didn’t know where he expected all of this to go but he just kept kissing and kissing, until finally he and Harry broke the kiss, looking into each other’s eyes.

  
“Let’s sleep,” Harry cooed.

  
Louis raised his eyebrows, “Have I done something wrong?”

  
“Course not,” Harry said, placing his way-too-big hand on Louis’ cheek and grinning before kissing him. “I just don’t want to rush it all.”

  
That’s when Louis knew that, yes, he was fucked.

 

♡

 

  
The first time they fucked each other it was beautiful and it was a swelling state of emotional chaos. They’d gone out for dinner, it was their second official date and Harry’s eyes were lit by candlelight and he told Louis a lot about himself and Louis returned the favor and they began to think maybe they’d been waiting all their lives for each other. He learned all about Harry’s past flings and loves and the failures they’d became and Louis promised he’d love him more than anyone before and they didn’t tell each other it was love but there was just that understanding and that was way too much to ignore.

 

Louis started to understand a little more of the mystery that was Harry Styles and he realized he might’ve been even more lost than Louis and he wasn’t sure if he could help but he knew he wanted to with all he had. But the sex. The sex with Harry was unlike any other.

  
It was when they got back to Louis’ flat. They were kissing all over Louis’ flat and eventually found themselves in the bathroom. For whatever reason, the owner of the flat Louis rented had seemed to have put all of the money into the bathroom, a glamorous and large escape from the smallness of the rest of the flat.

  
Harry stared deep into Louis’s eyes. Blue, swelling at the sight of the enamored Harry. He grabbed the nape of Louis’s neck and pulled him in, their soft lips crashing into a tender kiss. Harry felt Louis’s tongue on his own. Their lips were like berries bursting together in cool ice water, small bites showed tenderness and little escapes of breath added steam.

  
Louis moaned a little as Harry’s hands wandered down his back and into his jeans, he grabbed at his ass and teased him, smiling mid-kiss. Within seconds Harry had wiggled his hands all the way around Louis’s jeans to the front, finding the zipper and yanking it down. He grabbed Louis by his waist and propped him up on the counter of the bathroom.

  
“Harry,” Louis called out as Harry’s lips traced his neck and it was all Louis could do to resist howling as he lifted his shirt over his head and began to kiss down lower and lower, soft skin against his softer lips. Small love bites which would surely leave little reminders of their encounter.

  
Louis was writhing as Harry finally wrapped his hand around him and took him whole in one gulp. He continued to lick, suck, tease. Louis was sat naked on the counter, his back arched and his head against the mirror. He grabbed Harry by his beautiful, curly brown hair and forced him down.

  
Cries of pleasure escaped Louis’s lips as Harry took him deeper and deeper with every go. The image was beautiful in itself, Harry’s perfect pink lips wrapped around him and bobbing up and down, up and down, and he’d look up with those beautiful emerald eyes and he’d smile a little around Louis’ cock and it was perfection. The tall, gangly, curly headed boy was at his knees, worshipping with all he had the beauty before him.

  
With one quick movement Harry stood up straight and peeled off the thin shirt that kept Louis from admiring his tattooed chest. He wasted no time in unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them down his legs but keeping his eyes fixed hungrily on Louis all the while.

  
“Want me to fuck you?” Harry breathed into Louis’s ear, running his hands up his thighs.

  
“Mhmm,” Louis whimpered. He clutched Harry’s head and moaned as Harry bit his neck and licked down his chest. He grabbed a condom from one of the drawers beneath the sink and Louis was enamored of the curve of his cock as he watched him roll the latex down his length.

  
Then Louis was being pressed against the mirror, the cold edging on his back as Harry lifted his legs a little, getting close to Louis and leaning down to kiss him, Louis’ legs wrapped around his waist and their cocks touching, throbbing for each other. Louis wanted something to happen desperately as he kissed Harry; there wasn’t much longer he could make it just laying there with his cock laying against his stomach like that as Harry simply kissed at his neck. He _needed_ it. And thankfully Harry could tell, and he before Louis knew it he felt Harry’s fingers in his mouth and so he sucked them, slicking them up and watching as Harry’s eyes closed with pleasure.

  
“Please,” Louis said as Harry’s fingers slid from his lips. And relief came as Harry pressed his fingers to Louis’ hole, pushing in one slowly and then letting the second slide in. He was experimenting a little and Louis was groaning, his eyes rolled back behind his lids and his toes tightly curled behind Harry’s back. Harry kissed him hard as he slipped in the third finger, pulling them out and pushing them back in, curling them inside Louis. Finally he pulled them out for good and Louis shuddered.

  
Harry picked up Louis by his waist one more time, forcing him up against the back of the massive walk-in shower. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and Harry got the hot water running, trickling down their bodies and forcing them to slip on each other’s skin.

  
Louis cried out as Harry began to thrust into him, Louis heard the sounds of their bodies coming together and just wrapped his legs around Harry tighter, his toes curling. Harry’s hips bucked into him with a desire that seemed insatiable.

  
“That’s it curly,” Louis said through gritted teeth. He wanted to just scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to burst into flames and he felt like he could reach into heaven and scratch the stars as Harry filled him up and kissed into him with all he had.

  
Louis opened his eyes and let his bottom lip hang down a little as he stared into Harry’s fierce eyes. “Yeah, give it to me,” he groaned.

  
Harry kissed Louis and then let him get to his feet. He spun him around, quickly, eagerly and pressed him up against the wall. He rested his chin on Louis’s shoulder and breathed onto his neck, he knew that was Louis’s favorite. He slammed into Louis, reaching around and pleasuring him and enjoying the soft whimpers that escaped his lips.

  
Louis cried out as Harry slipped his hands over him one last time and he was cumming.

  
Harry purred into Louis’s ear and he could feel himself almost collapsing as he shivered and the condom filled within Louis, the muscles tightening around him and causing Harry to let out a low bellow, a moan of sheer pleasure and he let his head fall to Louis’ shoulder, a mess of sloppy curls slicking his skin.

  
One Harry pulled out, still deliciously out of breath, Louis slowly turned around and wrapped his arms around a panting Harry, he pressed his lips to his. “Damn, Styles.”

 

♡

 

  
They fucked. They fucked and they fucked and they smoked together from Harry’s bong and they laughed at romantic comedies and cuddled during horror movies and for weeks Harry slept with Louis in his bed, they promised each other there was nobody else and Harry was always leaving, he was always having to go tend to business and Louis knew what he was doing and he knew the risks but he couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t crush Harry or even do anything but make him smile.

  
No matter what Harry would do, Louis would be his ride or die, that was just that. He told him countless times. There was no way he’d be able to live without him after all of their time together and so Louis just wanted Harry to know that there was no way he’d ever abandon him and he’d stick by him forever.

  
One morning, the sun was hiding and the rain was slapping against the windows in the flat and Louis was eating cereal and Harry was lying on the couch flipping through the channels.

  
“I love you,” Harry had said and Louis looked up from his bowl, the feeling was unreal and though it was obvious they loved each other it was something different and special to actually hear it and to understand the solidity of it.

  
Louis smiled at Harry, “I love you too.”

  
And Louis wondered if there was anything better than that. He had Harry and Harry had him and they had more than enough money to live with what Harry was bringing in from some of his deals and so they surely would be happy forever.

 

♡

 

  
Then Harry’s life seemed to crash with Louis’. Before he knew it, Louis was hearing that Harry needed to leave, that he had to go somewhere new and he had to start over. He had to begin again and he couldn’t bring Louis with him and Louis begged and he pleaded, he cried and he tried everything he could, and he told Harry he loved him way too much but it wasn’t enough.

  
Louis didn’t know what he expected, didn’t know why he thought it was so weird that Harry didn’t call for a few days. Didn’t know why he was so shocked to not see a tall boy in a white t-shirt with ridiculous curls in Starbucks.

  
Harry said he had some business to attend to, and Louis felt sad because he thought Harry fit him better than anyone or anything he’d ever considered. He knew he’d love Harry till the end of time but it was an emptiness because Harry was gone, out of nowhere.

 

It hurt, it hurt like a fucking bitch because Louis never knew such emptiness and such tragic dissonance as that. He couldn’t feel himself, he couldn’t understand what happened or how happiness could literally slip away in such a quick instance and he hated himself and he sort of hated Harry and he hated the stupid drug lords and the drug addicts and whoever the fuck else Harry was involved with who scared him or threatened him or whatever happened, whatever the fuck it was, he was mad and he hated it. All of it. But at the same time he loved Harry so much. And love was as mean as love could be and love hurt him more than anything ever had in his entire life because it was love that kept him going and love that made him want to quit.

  
It was all Louis could do not to ask about him, not to try and find that apartment they’d visited on their first night hanging out. Louis stayed up, he couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t dream, he could only wonder if Harry would ever come back, if maybe he had just gotten lost on his way back or maybe he really was gone forever. The lanky son-of-a-bitch’s phone was off, always, and Louis didn’t want to leave him any more desperate messages because how many times could he say the same thing?

  
“Hey, Harry,” Louis spoke into the phone, his finger tracing over his leg and his words broken and shaky. “I know you’re probably busy. I just wanted to make sure you remember that I’m here for you.” He hung up the phone because that was all he could bear to say and that was the very last time he called Harry and the last time he never spoke of that tall, mysterious James Dean. Never in the coffee shop, never to new friends or to his family, it was a chapter in his life that caused him to weep, and he wept and he wept but he knew that Harry loved him. He knew he left because he had to. And so he cried but he hoped, just maybe one day he’d run into the mop of messy chocolate curls again and they’d be as happy to see him as he always imagined. 


End file.
